That night after the stink hit the fan I took a shower and prayed. Some people sing in the shower, I pray.
I asked God to give me wisdom to know what I needed to do to get things back on track and then the strength to do it.
Then I put on my comfy clothes, including my favorite (all-be-it ugly) robe and made myself a cup of hot tea. I sat down with my “Jesus Calling” book and another devotional and listened to what He wanted to say to me that night.
What I heard was this:
He gave me 5 precious children on purpose. This was no accident, He intended it, every one of them. I was purposed to be their mother from the beginning of time. They are my calling. We are uniquely made for each other.
How beautiful is that? No one can do a better job of raising them than I can, God made them for me and me for them. Maybe I’m not a failure after all?
He promises to be with me always, which means He knows exactly what is going on in my house, and why. And since He can see hearts and minds He has a huge leg up on me here.
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
He promises to give me strength to do what He asks of me. Even if I think 5 kids is too many for me to manage, He says I can do it with His help. And that is exactly how He intends it to be done – together with Him.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.” Psalms 46:1
“But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” Isaiah 40:31
Oh, to run and not grow weary, walk and not be faint as I pass from bedroom to bedroom putting clothes and things away.
That night I didn’t have any answers to the chaos or a plan of attack. Heck, I didn’t even know what all of the problems were. But I did have a clear head and steady feet. I felt armed with confidence and purpose. Next was to figure out what needed to be done and how I was to accomplish it.