Everybody has stuff. Everybody.
Even that mom at the pool who, after her third baby, still looks great in her college bikini.
Even the mom who’s children never seem to fight (in public at least).
Even the mom who cooks super healthy food for her family and claims her kids just “eat it up.” She uses no trans fats, sugar, gluten, or high fructose corn syrup. No veggies that have been genetically modified, no sir. She only buys organic produce, grain-fed beef and nothing that is farm raised- only wild caught with no steroids or antibiotics used. Her milk- not a whiff of rBST, only soy or almond. Chicken and eggs – free range, We could go on, couldn’t we?
Even the mom who is always dressed perfectly and who’s children never have holes in their leggings or a shirt with stains.
Even the mom who makes sure her children are getting to try every prectice or game without it affecting the family negatively at all and even appears to really enjoy the racing from event to event.
Even the mom who never misses a beat, she never forgets pj day, picture day, a field trip permission slip or to put money in her kiddos school lunch accounts.
It gives me indigestion just typing it. Because I know these people.
I’m not sure why I still get jealous of these moms. They have stuff too. You know that, right? Trust me, they do.
I can say that with great confidence because some people have told me they think I’m that kind of mom. I appear organized, patient and calm.
But I have stuff.
I’m an anorexic. Yep, I said it. At the age of 8 I developed a deadly eating disorder to help me cope with some things that happened to me when I was really young that I had no control of. What I could control was what went in my mouth, and so I did.
That eating disorder ruled my life for 16 years. Then one day I ended up in my doctors office with a heart that was leaking, organs that were failing and a body that was feeding on itself to survive. My doctor very sweetly told me she believed I was anorexic and that there was nothing she could do for me. I had to fix this myself and if I didn’t I would have a heart attack. She said it could happen in the next month or in a year, but that was where I was headed. Then she handed me three cards of psychologists that worked solely with eating disorder patients and with a few words of encouragement, she sent me out the door.
Out of fear of loosing my life I went to see one of those psychologists. And that’s how it all began.
No one is only what they appear to be. Everyone has stuff. So the next time you feel jealousy coming on, or put yourself down for your inadequacies, remember that you aren’t alone. You are in good company. And remember that the ones that try hardest to make you think they don’t have stuff, have more than the average! They have to cope too, somehow.
So hold off on the jealousy, judgement and harsh thoughts. These moms may just be coping with a curve ball life has thrown their way. They may work hard in one area of their life to cover up another that isn’t so together. They are likely dealing with real life too. Just like you. Just like me.